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According to recent press reports, Americans are having oral sex at alarmingly younger ages-and with increasing nonchalance. (Note: Oral sex here refers exclusively to fellatio.) Oral sex precedes and often replaces sexual intercourse because it´s perceived to be noncommittal, quick and safe. For some kids it´s a cool thing to do; for others it´s a cheap thrill. Raised in a culture in which speed is valued, kids, not surprisingly, seek instant gratification through oral sex (the girl by instantly pleasing the boy, the boy by sitting back and enjoying the ride) . A seemingly facile command over the sexual cum facial bukkake landscape of one´s partner is achieved without the encumbrances of clothes, coitus and the rest of the messy business. The blow job is, in essence, the new joystick of teen sexuality.

In short, if we are to believe today´s sociologists and culture mavens, oral sex has become ordinary. But the increased banality of the blow job is perplexing. When I was a teenager, in the bad-taste, disco-fangled ´70s, fellatio was something you graduated into. Rooted in the great American sport of baseball, the sexual metaphors of my generation put fellatio somewhere after home base, way off in the distant cum facial bukkake plains of the outfield. In fact, skipping all the bases and going directly to fellatio was the sort of home run reserved only for racy, borderline delinquents, who enjoyed a host of licentious and forbidden activities that made them stars in the firmament of teen recklessness.

A well-known French paleontologist by the name of Yves Coppens suggested that the famous Lucy (the first prehistoric woman) practiced a sort of “paleo-fellatio.” But the first clear real traces of fellatio are from ancient Egypt. Many of the more stellar examples are in the British Museum, where we find the cum facial bukkake famous myth of